Change

Mood: Restless

Listening to: Diana Krall

I’ve been feeling restless the whole day.

A little light on my feet and head, a state of being hyper.

It’s a pulsating sensation, sets my pulse throbbing and the adrenaline flowing.

I must be excited about meeting an old friend.

*****

Times change. Places change.

Things change. People change.

Nothing ever stays the same, does it?

*****

Met an old friend over dinner. A former uni mate back in Melbourne.

The 1st time we’ve met in over 10 years.

She’s now married, with 2 children.

She looks more 31 than I do, in fact older.

I remember when we used to hang out with a group of other friends discussing hopes and aspirations for the future.

Today, we talked about the experience of married life and having kids. And paying bills and tuition fees.

That was when I realised how much she had changed.

All of us had changed.

It’s frightening…

Chance

Mood: Pensive

Listening to: Sweet About Me by Gabriella Cilmi

Calling it heaven’s will or even destiny is a nice way of putting it in words.

Simply put, however, it’s about leaving it to chance.

That’s what life is – a game of chance.

50/50, equal probability for every decision made.

Some people believe that fate lies in their own hands.

They believe that you make your own luck.

The question is, how lucky do you think you are?

*****

It’s a common perception that if a chance is not taken, then it’s lost.

I disagree.

Who is to say that doing something equates to taking a chance whereas not doing anything means throwing it away?

I believe that taking a chance is not just about going for it. Sometimes, not going for it is a chance taken too.

Doing it or not, either way it’s a game of chance.

The rule of the game is simple – just choose a course of action (or inaction).

You alone walk the path.

Where it leads, only time will tell.

*****

Luck.

She comes and goes,

always unheralded.

~

Chance.

With the flip of the coin,

do we call heads or tails?

~

Fortune.

Its wheel constantly spinning,

intertwining our lives around it.

~

Fate.

What is written in the stars,

no one can tell.

Loss

Mood: Sombre

Listening to: Goodbye Yellow Brick Road by Elton John

It happened at 5am Malaysian time this morning.

I got the call hours later from my dad.

A moment not easily forgotten.

Heart wrenching, painful, it breaks the heart.

Yet, in the end, peace prevails.

*****

In life,

how easily we forget,

the things that truly matter.

~

In death,

how hard we try,

to cherish the moments lost.

*****

This posting is dedicated to my grandmother in memory of her passing today.

Sand

Mood: Tranquil

Listening to: Les Yeux Ouverts by Beautiful South

I love the beach.

My favourite place to be.

Walking on the cool sand, feeling the water rushing over my feet, the breeze brushing my face…

The serenity of seeing the endless boundary of the ocean, listening to the ceaseless surge of the waves…

It’s a beautiful feeling.

Mermaid Beach, Gold Coast

*****

The weather was good.

The sun replaced the rain for a change today.

A pleasant 40 minutes drive to my favourite city in Australia, Gold Coast.

Sipping macchiato at the Coffee Club, overlooking the city square, with a good book in hand.

God, I wish I could do this every single day of my life…

*****

Les Yeux Ouverts is a dreamy French song.

Hence the name in English is Dream A Little Dream of Me.

First heard in French Kiss, it took my breath away.

Mysterious, sexy, intoxicating, narcotic.

Much like drinking macchiato.

Irony

Mood: Passive

Listening to: Ave Maria, OST The Hitman

Life is filled with ironic moments.

It teases me, tells me how vulnerable and insecure I really am when I’m supposed to be in total control.

I guess no one is ever really in control.

The situation takes control of me, leaving me stranded, floating at sea without an anchor…

Alas, nothing can be done to remedy the hopelessness.

The feeling that I’m helpless, powerless… acquiescing to the twist of fate…

*****

It’s like Alanis Morissette’s Ironic…

A traffic jam when you’re already late
A no-smoking sign on your cigarette break
It’s like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife
It’s meeting the man of my dreams
And then meeting his beautiful wife
And isn’t it ironic…don’t you think

Yeah, it is.